The “Past” Pandemic
The pandemic irrevocably changed my teenage years and memories. Forgive me if I sound a bit harsh on my younger self, but I was that ambitious teenage girl who overdosed on “organizations” and “internships,” talking a big game without truly knowing my ambitions.
Looking back, I cringe a little. I was so busy chasing external validation that I neglected genuine self-reflection. I started a project in 2021 that went viral, even getting me invited to shows. But then I hit a wall. People kept asking, “Is this initiative still active?” It forced me to confront the fact that I was drifting.
From 16 to 20, my life was a whirlwind. Now, I’m taking a pause to reflect, re-evaluate, and redirect. I know this self-awareness is coming a bit later than for some of my friends who already have a clear path. I’ve been a generalist, and while I don’t regret the experiences, I do wish I’d focused my energy sooner.
My family background played a role in this. Growing up, we weren’t communicative. We were a broken unit, each of us retreating into our own worlds. This made it incredibly hard for me to socialize. I was terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing, of seeking the attention I lacked at home. This fueled deep-seated insecurity and low self-esteem.
Ironically, when I finally opened up to my peers, I discovered that many of them struggled with similar family dynamics. I wasn’t alone. Our generation, Gen Z, faces unique challenges — navigating distant parenting styles and a rapidly changing world. We carry the burden of building a better future, and we’re resilient in the face of it all.
The pandemic, strangely, was a time I enjoyed initially. But as I entered adulthood, the isolation started to take its toll. I realized I needed connection, I needed friends. The constant pursuit of achievements was driving me insane, but my friends, my “Hedhoes,” kept me grounded. They’ve seen me through thick and thin since high school, and I’m eternally grateful.
I’m changing. Evolving into a better version of myself. I apologize for past mistakes; forgive me. I’m committed to creating better content with more value and quality. I’m striving to be more aware, more conscious, more considerate. Thank you to everyone I’ve met along the way.